This fall, I embarked on a study by Matthew Kelly titled Living Everyday with Passion and Purpose. It was a deep soul-searching study. I learned a lot about myself, but one of the greatest takeaways involved my family. Kelly argues for what he calls “the day of rest,” which is exactly what it sounds like. One day of the week where you do NOTHING. Absolute, purposeful, pure laziness. FOR REAL.
If you’re like me, you’re hyperventilating a little right now.
I can’t have a day of rest! I’m a mom. My job description is literally “do all the things, all the time.”
The reasoning behind this insane idea is that rest is rejuvenating for the body and soul. Nature has a rhythm–flowers wilt and die then burst open again in all of their beauty come springtime. A day of rest allows you time to soul search, strengthen your relationships, and enjoy the freedom from routines and to-dos. Kelly argues that if you take just one day of the week off, you’ll get more done in the remaining six days than you would with all seven days of work.
I talked to my husband about this “rest” concept and we set off to actively create a family value system and culture. As you may or may not have expected, it’s a lot harder to implement “rest” than it sounds. But, true to what Kelly promised, it has made our family stronger and happier.
The Day of Rest rules are simple: choose one day and then do nothing on that day. The only things you can do are things that make you happy. Some things you can do: lay on the couch, eat ice cream, read, nap, stare at a flower…whatever relaxes you.
We chose Saturday as our day of rest because my work week starts on Sundays. The first Saturday we thought it was going to be easy–sit at home and do nothing until after nap time, when we promised the boys a movie with hot chocolate and pizza for dinner.
That first day was a cranky mess of cabin fever and piles of unwashed dishes. My husband busied himself with house projects, and I did more loads of laundry than I did all week and cooked a meal whenever I got the chance.
Needless to say, this day of rest was not restful.
The one thing that did work out was movie time. We all sat down with warm, homemade hot chocolate, and snuggled on the couch. I made dinner later than usual, but we all ate (which is practically a Christmas gift when you have toddlers) and slept through the night with full bellies.
It’s been six weeks now, and while it’s still hard to sit on the couch and ignore the laundry piles and screams of two energetic toddlers, we’re learning how to shift and balance our duties so we enjoy rest as much as possible on Saturdays. In between chores, we’ll sit and chat or play with the boys. Movie time is still the one thing that keeps us all going. My husband and I stop everything to watch Trolls or Finding Nemo. It’s not about the movie for us: it’s about the pure joy of nuzzling a sweet little boy in our lap, swapping them halfway through the movie and doing the same thing.
Our day of rest still involves some laundry and errands for now, but we work together to make sure those things don’t interfere with the overall feeling of rest we should focus on. The nicer weather should also open up new places for relaxing.
Do you think you could incorporate a day of rest into your family? What would it look like for you and your family situation? What could you gain from a day to just focus on your family relationships?
