Merry Christmas, Mom! What do you want for Christmas?
Has anyone really thought about what we moms really want for Christmas? I’ll give the advertisers on Madison Avenue a HUGE TIP: it’s not lacy lingerie flanked by angel wings. Nor is it pungent perfume licensed by a has-been celebrity. And although a new Audi with a big red bow would be nice, we really don’t need the extra car payment.
What most moms want for Christmas can’t be ordered from Amazon or picked out at the mall. What most of us are really looking for is sanity. A break. One less item on the “to-do” list. The Stir says these are the eight gifts that moms really want: a spa retreat, a weekend of solitude, a day to be lazy, a chore “hall pass,” a cleaning service, “something from the heart,” a date night, and a personal chef. My list came close.
In summary, this is the Christmas wish list most moms can’t write on paper for fear of judgment or extended eye rolls.
- A week free from making lunches. Moms, you know this routine well. Every night I follow the same drill: boil the pasta, nuke a few vegetables, grill some chicken, and cut up the fruit. Every. Freakin’. Night. You wonder if the daycare staff judges your lack of meal-making creativity. But, it’s also 8 p.m. when you start the lunch routine and anything creative in you is long gone.
- A week free from daycare drop-off and pick-up. Husbands, take the wheel. Ideally, this would coincide with the lunch-free week. Moms, that extra 20 minutes in the morning and the afternoon times five really adds up. What could you do with an extra three hours a week? The possibilities are endless! Forget grocery shopping or cleaning, we could fill this time with fun exercise, massages, and pedicures!
- A girl’s night out. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out with a group of women that hasn’t included children and a play date. Although I am psyched to meet up with other moms and keep our kids active and engaged, I also yearn for the days where “going out” actually meant “letting loose,” or at least not mostly discussing potty training. Trust me, we moms don’t need a trip to Vegas–but a few glasses of wine and no guilt sound great to us!
- A personal scheduler. Moms keep track of it all for their entire families. We note all of the doctor’s and dentist’s appointments, speech therapy sessions, and early daycare closures. And don’t get me started on planning ahead for weekend activities that we hope suitably entertain our children. Those of us who hold jobs outside of the home also have the handy task of coordinating our home calendars with our work Outlook calendars. Wouldn’t it be great if someone did this for us for an entire month?
- A brave housekeeper or cleaning service. This sounds like an easy, turn-key gift, right? Not so fast. The house cleaning gift certificate I received last year is still hanging on my refrigerator. Why? Because allowing someone to come in to deep clean my house would require me to pre-clean it first. I’d need days to pitch junk and re-organize. What moms are looking for is for someone to dig in from the beginning–from the Legos on the floor to the stuck-on grime on the kitchen floor. Ideally, this person or service would also clean out my garage and basement. It might take all of January for that…
- An affordable weekend away from it all. This would be my big-ticket gift request, and this is how it would play out. The grandparents would travel to our house. We would kiss our two-year-old goodbye, wish our cats well, and head for a hotel less than three hours away. We would not worry about midnight wake-ups, stinky diapers, overflowing litter boxes, or snowy driveways. My husband’s police department would not call, page, text, or email him for any reason. Instead, we would eat and drink well, enjoy the outdoors, and nap as often as possible. Moms (and their partners!) need this break–even if Santa needs to spring some extra elves into action to make it happen.
Finally, if this list escapes you and you must visit the mall, you can always pick up these practical mom gifts…
- Black leggings
- Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards
- Really good vodka
- Chocolate of any kind
- An extra iPhone charger with a super-long cord
Moms, what do you want Santa to leave in your stocking? Or maybe you really do want sheer stockings and lingerie? At any rate, please call me if any of you do get keys to a new car!
