I can’t be the only one who feels like making it through the day with my kids fed and breathing is considered highly successful. And if I got a shower in…well, I have struck it rich.
The days can be so, so long. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being a mom. If you know my story, you know I don’t take being a mama to my two miracles for granted. But this season of motherhood (raising a three-year-old girl and a six-month-old boy) is hard, if I am being honest. And as of late, I feel like I am just surviving the day.
There are days when I am pretty sure my daughter hasn’t eaten one thing that actually grew from the earth because I chose convenience over fighting fatigue to cut and chop and stand and cook.
There are days when the baby is screaming, there is laundry everywhere, my cat is throwing up, and my toddler is giving her stuffed animals a bath in the toilet (true story!). An extra half hour of “Curious George” it is then, so I can just try to clear my head.
Ultimately, I want to LIVE as opposed to just merely survive. I want to be present in each moment with my family, taking everything in. But that is just not reality. Reality is having days where you pretty much “white knuckle it” until the kids have finally gone to bed.
As moms, we all need a survival kit. And yours may look different than mine. So, for the days where you find yourself in survival mode, may I encourage you to have some tools handy?
Here are some things that help push me through survival mode:
- Breathe. Depending on the day and on the moment, this looks different each time. Sometimes it is stepping away and going into a different room for a short time to regain my thoughts. Sometimes it is prayer. Sometimes it is crying.
- Exercise. I love how exercise clears my head and ultimately can boost my outlook. These days, I can’t get to the gym, but I am loving my 30 minute workout DVDs that I can pop into my computer and do right in my living room. Other days when I need to just get us all out of the house, I strap the kids into the stroller and take a long walk. Point is, just get up and get moving!
- Phone a friend. Or, if you are like me, text. I have my girls who I know who are in my corner and I can check in with them throughout the day. It is a lifesaver! I honestly don’t know what I would do without these lovely ladies in my life.
Dear Mom Who Is Just Surviving, please take heart. You are stronger than you think and you can plow through those hard days. You are not alone. Take a deep breath and know that this feeling of survival is just temporary, but the love you show your kids by just being YOU lasts a lifetime. So get your toolbox handy and face these hard days. We are all in it together.
Oh, I just love this! Some days are just SO HARD. Yesterday, my girls took crazy pills (I swear!). And there was absolutely an extra show and absolutely some convenience for the sake of my sanity.
I love your tips. The exercising one speaks to me BIG TIME. Carving out that time for myself has been huge in making me feel like a human. Thanks so much for sharing and your honesty.
Absolutely love this! It is like you were speaking right to me! I don’t believe for a second you take your kids for granted or being a mom for granted bc I don’t either but my god sometimes it is just hard!!! And bed time can’t come fast enough!
Your tips are great and I don’t know what I would do with out my girls on the other end of a text message either. It was a great blog and remember mama you are strong and you got this!
Get a grip- Don’t try to do it all, and definitely clear out the magazines that make you think you need to be a super mom. Head to a park- get the kids outside playing. Take them WITH you when you work out. Make fun meals- and snacks. Being a mom is not hard- Being a WORKING mom is hard, but if you have the luxury of staying home, by all means ENJOY it. Get in a playgroup- find some other fun moms and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE- every day. even if its just a trip to target. You will feel better about yourself.
PLAN- if the kids take a nap a ta certain time- plan YOU time for then. When they are up, get the heck out of the house, away from the TV and do something- go to an art museum, kids museum, science museum. Plan your days to have some fun adventures and life will seem a whole lot better.
Shower? do that BEFORE they get up. Make grocery shopping an outting, and let the kids pick out some fun food to eat- fruit! Veggies with Dip! a fun snack.
I remember my little one saying in the morning to me “Where are we going today Mommy?” because we were always going somewhere. That 3 year old is at a stage that is FUN FUN FUN. Make her pack her own little backpack with snacks and a coloring book and crayons so she can be busy in the car when you drive. TAKE walks- pack up that stroller and zoom around your neighborhood looking at birds and flowers and creatures. Meet your neighbors. ITS NOT HARD.
High school? now THAT’s HARD
Hi Lindsey~
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting on my blog post.
I have been thinking about your choice of the word “luxury” describing myself as a stay at home mom. Possibly you and I have different ideas of what luxury is. so I am not going to try to make any assumptions. However, I definitley don’t consider it a luxury per se…a privilege, a gift..yes absolutely. Especially since me and my husband worked extremely hard prior to becoming parents so that this could be a possibility.
The tips you suggested are everything I already do with my children. We have so much fun together. But the truth is, not every day is fun and adventure. That is normal life. If you are honest with yourself you will admit that was the same with raising your child(ren) So I do ask you to not make a quick assumption that being a stay at home mom is easy. I don’t know if you had the opportunity to stay home with your kids. I was a working mom at one point. So I DO know how hard BOTH roles are. Each carry their own positives and negatives. Ultimately, staying at home is what is right for my family.
The other danger of making quick assumptions is that you don’t know what place I was coming from as I wrote this post. I am coming out of a very hectic season- gave birth to my son in January and since he was 2 weeks old he needed weekly visits to the hospital due to medical needs. 6 weeks after his birth I underwent surgery to remove cancer. Add in a 3 year old who was trying to adjust to all these changes, well, life was a bit chaotic and some days I felt like I was just getting through. My heart as a writer is to be transparent- not every day is filled with rainbows and butterflies. Life is hard. And as mothers we need to be lifting each other up and encouraging each other along the way. We all mother our children differently and we all carry different roles (i.e. SAHM or working mom) and that is wonderful. No need to judge each other and make hasty assumptions.
I wish you well!
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