Baby Fever.
Its a very real, tried and true thing. I’m 31 years old, have a one-year-old son, and multiple friends who are currently pregnant. Yet all I can think about is, “I want another baby.”
My son turned one last month, and the question we keep getting asked is, “When is baby number two coming?” My immediate answer is usually, “Maybe soon. Having one child has been a big adjustment and we’re having so much fun with him.” Because let’s face it, going from zero to one kid is a HUGE adjustment. Your life changes so much; the ability to come and go as you please, the late nights out, sleeping in past 8 a.m. But it’s the most amazing change your life will go through.
One look at my son when he was born and I knew that I had just made the best decision of my life. It was the proudest, bravest, most amazing adventure my husband and I decided to take together. I am not an emotional person, but the day my son was born, I cried. Hard. It was the happiest moment of my life. And I can’t lie, I long to feel that again.
And I miss being pregnant. A lot. I miss my baby bump. I want to feel a baby moving around inside my bump. I’d love to have an excuse to go to bed at 8 p.m. because I’m tired and worn out.
I miss growing a tiny human inside my body and feeling like I could do just about anything.
But this baby fever, it takes over my brain, and it’s like a run away train. I start thinking of all the “what if’s” and all the negative things.
What if we struggle to get pregnant this time because our first time happened so easily?
What if there are complications?
How long should we wait until we try for baby number two?
What if my son doesn’t feel like we love him as much with a new baby? What if he feels neglected?
Can I handle having two kids?
What if we get pregnant with twins?! (Which I am absolutely terrified of since my husband and I agreed we both want two kids.)
What if I’m jinx’ing myself by writing this post and being so open about baby number two?
This is my life though. Every. Single. Day. I want to have a second baby; want to so very badly. But I get overwhelmed sometimes when I think of adding another child to the mix. I barely sleep as it is, and work full-time, and feel like I don’t spend enough time with my son. Sometimes, when the baby fever hits me hard, I scroll through photos of my son when he was first born and hope that gets me my fill of adorableness.
And with all these new babies coming into my life, maybe that will fill a void I feel. But probably not. Because the snuggles, the little smiles, the tiny fingers and toes, it’s all just so darn cute! And the smell; my goodness, the smell of a newborn baby ladies, that really sets me off.
Baby number two is a very real conversation my husband and I have pretty frequently. Yes, I have baby fever. Yes, the only prescription is another baby. But until then, I will enjoy every moment with my son, and make sure he knows how special he is. He is so loved, and he has changed our lives so much.
