Everything you need to know about parenting toddlers is right here in this blog. Who do I think I am? I’m four years into this parenting gig–so my only experience relates to parenting toddlers–and I often don’t know what the heck I’m doing. I can describe it for you how it feels, however.
Parenting toddlers is…
- Attempting to get your three-year-old to feel remorse after she pees on the rug. Again.
- Holding back tears when your child yells, “I hate you!” for the first time.
- Keeping it together when your child calls his father’s watch, “Daddy’s clock,” but without the very important “l,” over and over again.
- Trying not to laugh when your daughter poops in her bathing suit. And the first thing that comes to mind when you see the bulge in her tush is: “Finkel & Einhorn…Einhorn & Finkel!”
Telling your toddler that we don’t grab the dog’s penis because, “It is NOT, in fact, a light saber.”
- Having your 21-month-old look at you and say to you, “Stupid. Bad girl, mommy,” and then thinking, “She’s really growing up! That’s so sweet!”
- Explaining to the protective big sister after she tells off her teacher: “Oh, your brother is so sweet, I just want to take him home with me,” is just a figure of speech.
- Posting mostly about the good parts of parenting toddlers on social media because that’s what you’d like to remember the most.
- Never being able to watch anything where children are in peril without bursting into tears.
Being willing to throw yourself in front of a bus for your kids. Hell, being willing to throw your spouse in front of a bus for your kids.
- Commiserating with fellow parents about the misery that is Caillou (see my rundown of preschool TV shows).
- Celebrating with fellow parents on days when your kids get along (if you have to bribe them with marshmallows, it still counts).
- Reading anything you can about parenting toddlers and deciding that you’ll just trust your instincts and your friends, in the end.
- Stressing about milestones: are they potty-trained yet? Can they write their names? Do they know how to use one of those glider bikes?
- Wanting to be the fun mom, but also wanting to be able to wear white pants.
Realizing that your kids won’t want to spend every second with you one day. That day is not now. Now, they’re glued to you and you’re like STEP. OFF.
- Going to the bathroom with an audience.
- Showering with an entourage.
- Feeling immense guilt for not doing enough: not parenting right, yelling too much, not being patient. For only brushing their teeth once a day (I’m talking about a friend of mine).
- Knowing you’ve never done anything more important or more satisfying.
Parenting toddlers is ALL THESE THINGS. What is it for you?
