After the Baby Arrives: A Radical Postpartum Plan

My first child was born via cesarean. Within the first 24 hours of his life, at least 12 different family members and friends visited us. I was exhausted, recovering from major surgery, grieving over a birth plan gone awry, and struggling to figure out how to breastfeed this new baby. I had no postpartum plan.

Once we got home, the flurry of activity continued. People visited, I cried about breastfeeding challenges, and I felt tired.

I tried to go for a walk just days after coming home, ignoring the importance of recovering from surgery while simultaneously riding the roller coaster of postpartum emotions and learning how to feed my baby and be a mother. Needless to say, this postpartum experience was so very hard.

Fast forward to my third child who was born almost eight months ago. This time, we had a plan in place that gave me what I think was an ideal postpartum experience. We limited extra visitors, but had close family here to help with my older kids. We had friends drop off meals. And I stayed in my bedroom with the baby for over a week–the only time I left was to use the bathroom. I didn’t even go downstairs. To some, this may sound torturous, but for me, this radical self-care was perfect.

Our postpartum plan allowed me to rest and recover from giving birth and it allowed my baby and I to bond and establish a healthy breastfeeding relationship.  

My husband and mom brought me food, and my kids came in often to snuggle, watch movies, and get to know their new brother. We even celebrated a birthday, complete with cake in bed. When I reflect upon this time, I can still feel the peace that I felt then. Of course I felt tired. And of course my hormones were readjusting. But I was cocooned with my new baby and I was served and supported by my loved ones. I didn’t once think about cleaning, laundry, cooking, or leaving the house. It was just perfect.

Many parents-to-be plan carefully for the birth experience they hope to have. Some parents take childbirth education classes, hire a doula, and/or write birth plans.

As a birth doula, I believe that birth is important. It’s important to take time to think about how you hope to feel during your birth. And although birth is unpredictable and it’s good to be open to changes in plans, I do think that some level of preparing for birth is helpful.

In the excitement of planning for a new baby, many families forget to plan carefully for the time period following the birth.

I made that mistake my first time around. I’m hopeful that women and their caregivers consider the postpartum time period, because I think it’s vital that families plan for this transition. Again, we can’t predict how each of our unique postpartum transitions will be. We can’t predict how we will cope with new parenthood. However, we can do some things to make sure that our postpartum adjustment is one in which we are supported, cared for, and able to focus fully on healing ourselves and taking care of our babies.

A Postpartum Plan

I encourage parents-to-be to set aside some time to plan for this major transition.

• Who do you want in your home to support you?  
• Do you want a lot of visitors?  
• How can you make sure you will have wholesome food to eat?  
• Who can help with your older children?  
• What resources are available to you in the community in case you need extra support?  

Some families will still have to face postpartum depression or anxiety, even with a plan. If that happens to you, you haven’t done anything wrong. But, maybe you’ll have a stronger support system in place to support you in finding that help that you need. For a template to help you put a postpartum transition plan into place, check out this postpartum toolkit I’ve put together.

The time period after our babies are born is so short. And it’s our one shot at nurturing ourselves while getting to know our new little person. It’s so worth it to plan for this time and to give ourselves permission to radically care for ourselves through it.