Late Diagnosis of ADHD in Women: A Mom’s Perspective

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Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult and a mother can be life-changing. I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year at 38 years old, and it has provided me with enormous clarity, validation, and relief. Although I had struggled with focus, organization, time management, and anxiety for as long as I can remember, becoming a mother really shifted these struggles into overdrive. I started to wonder if my challenges weren’t just about managing “mom brain” or anxiety. What if they were a sign of something more, something like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?

What is ADHD?

Let’s start with what ADHD categorically is not: a sign of laziness or low intelligence. Wildly successful women with ADHD include Simone Biles, Emma Watson, and Greta Gerwig, while ADHD “superpowers” include imagination, creativity, hyper-focus, and empathy.

In the simplest of terms, ADHD is a brain-based regulation disorder. The exact cause of ADHD is not fully understood, but it’s believed that genetic, environmental, and neurological factors all play a part. Brain imaging research has shown profound differences in the brains of individuals with ADHD. An imbalance of chemical messengers in the brain (including neurotransmitters called dopamine and norepinephrine) can affect how signals are transmitted, leading to challenges with attention, motivation, and executive function. 

ADHD is commonly divided into three types based on the primary symptoms: Inattentive, Hyperactive-Impulsive, and Combined Presentation. 

  • Inattentive Type is characterized by such symptoms as difficulty sustaining attention, following through on tasks, organizing activities; as well as frequently losing the things necessary for completing tasks. 
  • Those with Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD struggle with fidgeting, an inability to stay seated, talking excessively, and difficulty waiting. 
  • Combined Presentation predictably involves a combination of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms, with individuals displaying significant symptoms that fit both criteria. 

It’s important to understand these differences in ADHD types in order to determine appropriate treatment strategies, which often involve a combination of behavioral therapy, educational support, and medication (either stimulants or non-stimulants) to help manage symptoms.

Understanding ADHD in Women

Historically, ADHD is a condition that has been predominantly associated with hyperactive boys, leading to a significant underdiagnosis in women and girls. Instead of bouncing off the walls, ADHD symptoms in women manifest differently and are frequently internalized, making them less noticeable. Instead of hyperactivity, women with ADHD may experience chronic disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, and a sense overwhelm when confronted by daily tasks. These symptoms can profoundly affect every aspect of a woman’s life, from personal relationships to professional responsibilities.

The Journey to Diagnosis

For women who suspect they may have ADHD, taking steps towards diagnosis is crucial for better self-understanding and effective management of symptoms. ADHD is diagnosed through a comprehensive evaluation that includes medical exams, psychological assessments, and behavioral observations. If you suspect you may have ADHD, here are five tips that can help you on the journey towards a diagnosis:

1. Educate Yourself 

Before seeking a diagnosis, it’s essential that you educate yourself about ADHD, particularly how it manifests in adult women. Understanding symptoms like inattentiveness, executive dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation can help you articulate your experiences more clearly to a healthcare provider. Many online resources, books, and podcasts are available that are specific to women with ADHD. 

2. Track Your Symptoms

Documenting your symptoms over a period of time can provide valuable insights into your daily struggles and patterns of behavior. Keep a list in your phone to note instances of forgetfulness, disorganization, difficulties in maintaining focus, and more. This may help you process how often ADHD may be affecting your daily life, and provide concrete evidence of your symptoms when discussing your concerns with a healthcare provider.

3. Seek Support

Discuss your struggles with your partner, family members, or close friends. Their observations and experiences can provide additional perspectives and help validate your feelings. Whatever you struggle with most, don’t ever feel ashamed to ask for extra help in those areas.

4. Consult a Specialist

ADHD in adults, particularly in women, can be complex and is best diagnosed by a specialist, such as a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist with experience in ADHD. While talking with a primary care physician is a good place to start, your provider may not have the expertise to diagnose ADHD accurately. They may refer you to a specialist, which is a huge help and an important step in getting the best help and support. 

5. Be Persistent and Advocate for Yourself

Persistence is key! You know your own mind and body better than anyone else. Be prepared to advocate for yourself assertively and repeatedly, if necessary. If a healthcare provider dismisses your concerns or attributes them solely to stress or motherhood, don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion. Do not hesitate to push for the answers you need to improve your quality of life. 

Conclusion

While most moms experience occasional overwhelm, women with ADHD struggle with attention, focus, and memory to a significant extent that impacts their daily functioning. By educating yourself, keeping track of your symptoms, seeking support, consulting the right specialists, and advocating for yourself, you can navigate the path to diagnosis. Remember, you’re not alone — many of us are right there with you, searching for our keys in the fridge and laughing at the chaos along the way.

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